Monday Recap

Monday, May 02, 2011
Was so glad to launch our MODERN FAMILY series yesterday! I know lots of you missed the teaching because you were out finishing up the amazing Home Makeover, so I wanted to make sure to get the summary up this morning.

The Big Idea for the series: Great families don't happen by luck; they are built on purpose.

Yesterday, we focused on how to handle conflict, which is good, and keep it from turning into fighting, which is bad.

Marriage is like a construction site. Fighting is a wrecking ball, whose only purpose is to tear down. Conflict is like a toolbox - there are sharp edges and you may get hurt, but you can build something.

Conflict is good because it reveals what is important to us and where we differ on what is important to us.

We looked at Ephesians 5:31-33, which says that the heart of a man is to be to love his wife and the heart of a wife is to be to respect her husband. How do we play that out in conflict?

1. Honor your spouse's story (John 7:24)
Each of us has a life story and different experiences that have made us who we are. Make sure you take your spouse's into account!

2. Agree to rules for conflict
Find principles and practices you can agree to and honor them. And make them up when you are not in conflict!

3. Define shared goals (Ephesians 4:15-16)
Every conflict is about something bigger - figure out what that is and remind yourself how many things you both desire in common.

4. Don't manipulate
Men tend to dominate through manipulation; women through withholding. Figure out your default and commit not to use it!

5. Major on forgiveness (Colossians 3:13)
"Make allowance" for the other's faults rather than beat them over the head with their faults.

The next step was to find some time this week to have a conversation about conflict with your spouse or someone close to you if you are not married.

Can't wait to see you Sunday for week two of MODERN FAMILY and a very special Mother's Day!

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