Fight for a Future Marriage (Jared)

Tuesday, March 03, 2009
I had fun teaching this past Sunday. We talked about some ways to fight for marriages in areas as diverse as internet boundaries and prayer. But I wanted to make sure and expound on that message because I think there are great ideas for single people, too. This particular post is not for those with the gift of singleness. I've never had that gift, so I'm not sure how much I could contribute, but for those of you hoping that marriage is in your future there is every reason to start fighting, now, for your (hopefully eventual) marriage.

First of all, let's be blunt. If a guy or a girl can't dig down deep and find enough self control to keep their hands to themselves while you are dating, there is no reason to believe they are going to magically find enough self-control to keep their sexual energy confined solely to you when you get married. Waiting to have sex until marriage may seem old fashioned, but if you'd like to have an old-fashioned marriage where your spouse doesn't sleep with the milkman, then give yourself the best shot possible. Honor God with your body.

Second, let's be blunt again. Marriage doesn't fix anything! It's actually like an amplifier. If your spiritual life is mediocre, you can't hold-down a job (current economic conditions withstanding), and you cry yourself to sleep during The Bachelor each night, then all getting married do is drag someone else into your miserable life. Use this singleness as a time to grow and change, then when you find someone special you can encourage them spiritually, contribute to the workload, and laugh at how rediculous reality tv is together! So fight for your marriage by fighting for your own growth.

Third, let's finish by being blunt-it's kind of what I do. If you are a follower of Christ don't date people who aren't Christians. Why? Because you'll suck them to being judgemental homophobes who chase down gay rollerbladers in the park to deliver fake hundred-dollar-bill-tracts. Just kidding. I know this will come as a shock to some of you, but, barring some Russian internet bride mishap, you will eventually marry someone you date. Do yourself and your children a favor and seek out someone who is already going to church before you date them. I can't tell you how many women are shocked, Shocked I Tell You! when their boyfriends who never went to church on their own suddenly stop going once they get married. Then what are you going to do? Nag your partner to death? Not a good game plan. Here is a good game plan: Join a life group with single people, go to Charlotte One, meet someone at church!

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